This cutie was totally desperate for a picture of me! I mean, for an ID badge but still

George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and the Cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt all rolled up into one

I love that for you

be 'terribly sorry' about everything 😛

I'm ordering Thai, pad see ew with shrimp, I don't know where you come down on seafood though

Meh, the only musicals I'm into are Little Shop of Horrors and Jesus Christ Superstar

Yes I am trying to influence Sofia Vergara to go out with me

I like The Spiffing Brit - he just breaks video games, showing how to do all kinds of cheaty broken exploits and stuff for a bunch of different games (as you may expect, Skyrim features prominently on his channel) also he's pretty amusing when he's doing it

I wish I could drive past this chicken place and not pull in there and order me a whole-ass bird with a nice side of platanos

I wish I didn't regret like 95% of things I ever said

No way, my cheap body wash on its own does a number on the ladies TBH 🤡

Graceland, it's a cheap tourist trap and also it's lowkey in the hood now

not really, but I have health problems and all and I'm fortunate that the health care people can show up and shake me down for everything that comes in without ending up in the red, yet

I am completely devoid of any artistic talent, in fact never mind because that would be an insult to people completely devoid of artistic talent

I've gotten braces as an adult to straighten up my teeth some, presently resisting the urge to rant about my lack of medical attention as a child...anyway nah I'm good, not that I think I'm perfect - just good