Yes, but only bc I've been conditioned by capitalism to think I need to be useful for someone/something else to feel like I'm valuable. It's rough because I feel good when I'm productive, but that doesn't truly benefit me or give me a deeper level of personal fulfillment. deep emo sigh

It could be a factor, or not.

Time is tight for me.Hardly any wasted

I think the time you waste is proportional to your misery.

I surrounded myself with a cloud of hate.

Yeah, probably. I should be less miserable so I don't waste so much time.