i agree so much. it means a lot to me to have a situation where angela is allowed to take charge and be assertive of what she wants when it comes to any kind of sexual pleasure whether she is giving or receiving it. just. ugh. it means a lot to me especially considering. well. everything as is with angela. that assurance of safety and that her consent matters and that she is able to have the comfort of control in her hands would do her a lot of good. being able to say she doesnt want to do this and just. that actually being respected. oh angela the metaphor for sexual violence that you are. she deserves the world. it is peak as fuck.

big big fan of this ask... i was meaning to actually answer this yesterday but i just got distracted. but aoorougughh. i really love dry humping as is and thinking about drunk dry humping too is just. even better. how they desire each other so much but they just do not care enough to try to reposition themselves or to take off their clothes and are just content with grinding together desperately. thinking about angela or roland mouthing against the others neck with those hushed pleas and whispers of each others names with just a little bit of their clothes undone, but not enough for anything beyond dry humping. angela's cravat loosened. roland's tie loosened. the first few buttons of angela's blouse unbuttoned, and same for roland's white dress shirt. just absolutely holding onto each other for dear life and feverishly grinding into the other and not wanting to let go of the other because there is not only so much desperation going on here but also so much fear. gestures. the fleetingness of it all.

my thoughts are: YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSS.

i love to think about faust orgasm denial 💭 someone NEEDS to break down faust's extremely confident persona by denying her from being able to come and making her have to beg for it. uugrhhhhgjhhhh. im so ill. i have covid. thinking about how it could happen... regret faust being unable to touch herself cause of the jacket and her begging is all muffled and stopped up behind the mask wrapped around her face until someone finally reaches out to tug it down to her neck and free her mouth and shes just babbling and begging. woah hey its really dark in here all of a sudden. bonus points if its with walpurg ryōshū, too 👆 those two nuggets that are getting really freaky with their ego gifts

i love yi sang pregnant and lactating i think yi sang pregnant and lactating should happen more. sangbaek nursing handjob did anyone say? okay, but. it also would be really really cute to think about how like. dongbaek would just be so caring with him and would make sure that he is getting everything he needs so that he can carry their child to term. sobs. i definitely think yi sang would probably have some complications going on with his pregnancy just because of how yi sang is, but i don't think i wanna contemplate that right now </3. dongbaek its so imperative that you control yourself when you see yi sang lactating through his shirt. or you don't. whateverrrrr. i've also been in the mood of thinking about pregnant tops and i think that would be really cute here with sangbaek. i don't think yi sang tops a lot, but when he does it's probably with dongbaek and i imagine it happens more than one would think just because of how much dongbaek doesn't mind and actually loves it... personally...

[spoilers for jan in dis ask too] HI. okay. so. im so sorry for taking So long to get to this ask and i'm finally getting to it now. i had tried to write up my thoughts before when i first initially got this in my inbox, but i was just struggling way Too Hard to even put my thoughts down. thankfully though, i am good now.

so. like. my ayin thoughts are. Complicated. there's a lot that i can say here, but i feel like one of the best ways to convey my ayin thoughts is that to truly understand angela, you also have to truly understand ayin, and everything that was going on with him. this isn't to say that im defending ayin or anything like that, but it isn't a Coincidence that angela ends up perpetuating the cycle, following in the footsteps of ayin, and doing everything that he had done before her but now in her own way. just like how the main lobcorp facility was the equivalent of ayin's EGO (implied through the conversation with abel in lobcorp: "This office is born from your heart, siphoned up from your deepest subconsciousness. Yes, many parts of this facility were extracted and created from our minds."), the library is angela's EGO. they both create their own equivalent of an ego prison, dragging people they love and innocent civilians down with them in the process, all for the sake of their own atonement and forgiveness. hell. they even come to the same conclusion at the end of their respective games.

here (ayin)

and here (angela)

they both come to the realization that they have caused so much pain, that they have sinned, and that they have done wrong, and that all the pain they have perpetuated will just be used as justification by others to thus inflict pain unto others; causing the cycle of the city to go on ad infinitum. they both come to the conclusion that they must commit a kind of heroic suicide. that they will take the burden upon themselves to cut this vicious cycle once and for all. one of the final abnormality forms angela embodies before the keter realization—the very same realization that concludes with angela saying that if she is going to be in the light now, then she will oppose carmen at every turn rather than letting her get what she wants. wow. that's kind of familiar. i wonder who also does a similar thing shown by how he helps people manifest ego rather than distort—is that of paradise lost. just like how in lobcorp, the very last form of ayin x deals with to get to day 50 is that of adam, a form that is very much that of an aspect of ayin, before his true realization, that views himself as both a harbinger of the apocalypse, and a savior figure.

one of the reasons why angela doesn't come to repeat what ayin had done is due to the fact that someone was there to stop her from doing that. that someone was there, who had forgiven her, and shown a willingness to help her break the cycle as well. that she wouldn't have to go about it alone. just as one of the reasons why ayin comes to do what he does is due to the fact that he only had himself. there was no one who could've stopped him from committing heroic suicide and viewing himself breaking the cycle as what he had to do. in lobcorp we play as x, a form of ayin. ayin views himself as an inherently monstrous person. why would he forgive himself?

as well, ayin is a very good written depiction of someone who is Extremely traumatized from what had happened to him, so overcome with his own sorrow with the death of his friends that he comes to do what he does.

unrelated but really fucked up how ayin and angela both go on their initial journeys at carmen's behest (of course, angela doesn't know at first) and how they both end up coming to the conclusion that they will oppose carmen at every turn. lol.

that is to say, just because i like to think i understand his character and writing doesn't mean i like him. ayin's construction of angela and the sephirah, encasing them in his literal ego prison, and thus using them and their suppressed memories to help him Come to his realization at the end of the game is. like. it's so fucked up that it is Necessary for the script, for ayin's realization, heroic suicide, and his action of what it means to break the cycle, to be done in the way that it is. only for him to then decide that he, and everyone in the facility, must be sacrificed for the greater good. this isn't to say that i think angela is any different because i can acknowledge the kind of hypocrisy i may be displaying here with how, of course, she does the exact same thing. the thing is that ayin's construction of angela and is treatment of her just. makes it extremely hard for me to view his intentions in any kind of positive light vs. angela's own intentions and the kind of person she used to be before ayin had beaten it out of her by forcing her to perpetuate the script. not to mention. well. hand gestures. ayin's design of angela's body.

tl;dr it's A Lot. It's Complicated. ayin has absolutely phenomenal writing behind him, and at points i can feel for him, but most of the time i just do not like him.

UMMMMMMMMMMMM AND. WELL. BENJAMIN THOUGHTS!!!!!!! i like benjamin :) SORRY. i know this one may be a bit disappointing, but it's hard for me to really vocalize my benjamin thoughts beyond jusjt gmrmgmmhggh.. benjamin :) also because i kind of need to go back and look over the hokma lobcorp cutscenes again... i do think a lot about benjamin and his relationship with angela though and also his relationship with ayin... i really wish we could know more about how ayin from someone who isn't himself or benjamin so i could really just Know why benjamin was so infatuated with ayin. kind of fucked up to think that if ayin just let benjamin in, he probably would've served the role roland did to angela in ruina by stopping him from committing what he sees as a heroic suicide to break the cycle

I THINK I REMEMBER SEEING ADE ANSWER AN ASK ABOUT LC FAUST X FRAGMENT OF UNIVERSE FREAKY ABNO SEX... i supported it then and now!!! and godddd. yeah. im just thinking about how much just the sheer presence of the tentacles alone—either from bristling against someone's body, clothed or not, or wrapping around limbs—could probably bring someone to their knees mentally. thinking about lc faust doing That Kind Of attachment work with the abno and how the observation log quickly devolves into her not being able to make Any kind of helpful observations. anyway so like did anyone say lc faust x fragment universe mind break and her squirting when the tentacles penetrate her. What. Sorry

[SPOILERS FOR JAN IN THIS ASK] WOAH............ WOAH....... RED EYES/RED EYES OPEN ANGELICA AND ROLAND. THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD........ oh my god fuck everything. roland, angelica, you guys NEED TO WEB ANGELA UP AND FUCK HER NASTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. broodmother angela moments. what. sorry

but also. auauurhghghh... you are so evil for this also, anon, because of the assignment. angelica and roland both having the red eyes ego... the two of them never having had a chance to truly raise the family they wanted together, and how spider bud as an abnormality is so representative of primarily motherhood, while still being applicable to roland because of how he embodies the sort of rage spider bud is thrown into when its children are threatened, or even killed. angelica herself being the mother, the spider bud abnormality itself, yet with her death, roland is the one who must act out in her place, meting out the judgment that He thinks is appropriate all under the guise of angelica's identity and her assumed personhood to anyone who doesn't know the true identity of the black silence.

speaking of. here's an excerpt from spider bud's abnormality records that could be applicable to roland: The rumor says the following: “Whispers can be heard in the Containment Unit at night...” “It was the voice of Alex, who went missing a few days ago...” “They say the voice wept in terror, asking to be saved from the darkness...” "

okay but. this also makes me really emotional because now i'm thinking about ys and db wanting to start a family. sniffles. i think SOOOOOO much about the art ive seen of sangbaek having a kid together and them raising it. it makes me want to die SO MUCH!!!!!! AURUGHHGHH. both uncertain about the when, where, how, or if they even would be able to end up having a child together. the two of them both coming upon the agreement that they do know that they would want to give their child a life better than the one they had, and that they believe it's possible (unaware of the horrors. unaware of the horrors. unaware of the horrors). :')

OKAY. BUT. YES! DB + YS MUTUAL BREEDING KINK!!! IT WOULD SAVE ME SO MUCH. AHHHHHHHH. ys' face buried in the crook of db's neck, not entirely there, only able to vocalize what he wants to say every now and then when those thoughts finally manifest into words rather than being stopped up by the haze that blankets his mind like a layer of cotton. db thrusting up into him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, and groaning that she's about to come only to feel how ys tightens around her at the declaration followed by a long, drawn out shudder; the kind of flutter in his voice that only she ever hears. db stopping inside of him—ys letting out a low whine when she does so—to ask him if he would like that. to ask ys if he would like if she came inside of him, despite the risk and what could happen. at first, he only continues to whine and not say yes or no, but then she pinches him and giggles, saying he knows it isn't like she'll judge him or anything if he does. that she... kind of would like to as well. Whatever man

ANGELICA ANGELA FROTTING WORLD!!!

yeagh. yeah. my thoughts are just that. yeah. yup. honestly now that im thinking about it i can totally see it being a thing where angela is sitting in angelica's lap and she isn't moving At All. angela having to be the one to roll her hips and grind herself against angelica's own genitalia. though, not only does this act as a way to tease and rile up angela, it also serves as giving her a way to control the situation too. if she wanted to get up, walk away, and refuse to do this, angelica wouldn't stop her or chase after her. she would respect that. yet, angela does not. angela continues to roll her hips against angelica's own to the point that there is no rhythm or grace to it; all force and no finesse. it gets to the point that angelica's joints feel so sore from constantly moving that she can't help but whine and cry. angelica shushes her, holding her hips, pressing pink half-crescents in her skin with manicured nails. once angela's hips stop stuttering pathetically, she tells her that she'll make sure that she comes. she just has to let angelica take control. anyway