hi hi hi! you already know how much i love the way you write and see mnsvng. that thing about jsvng losing his mouth-to-brain filter is so so spot on to me — i see him as someone so wordy but not always umm eloquent? especially when feelings and emotions are involved. he’s just a very feeling-driven person, to me. he absolutely can be quiet and say things so gently, because there’s feelings in that, too. in whatever way he chooses (or doesn’t choose) to express his feelings and thoughts, he just sort of expresses that with his whole body, not just words. if he’s worn and tired of the inner battles that came with denying or working through his feelings, if he’s frustrated, sad, scared, or just so in love that it’s consuming him, you’ll see that, whether it’s through crying and rambling or through saying things gently and softly.

and mnho, yeah, it’s exactly as you said. even the chaos in his brain has a structure, and that’s why i think in most fics he keeps his feelings at bay. i’ll use fragments as an example; the very simple reasoning is that his feelings exist, they’re there, he’s acknowledged them and made his peace with them (sort of, kind of). he’s not thrown off his balance anymore when jsvng does something that takes his breath away, it doesn’t take him by surprise when his heart picks up whenever jsvng is near. but it’s jsvng acting in ways he can’t predict, them ending up in situations that fall outside of mnho’s mental guide of How To Deal With This that make him lose his footing. and so when his structure and balance and rationalizing is challenged by his will to follow jsvng anywhere, to do anything for him, no matter what — it’s then that he has to make a choice, and it’s not always one he can think of rationally.

ah. they’re so silly. i think they should kiss maybe.

ah, i totally get what you mean! my take on your version is jsvng is such a poet, you know? he’s an artist through and through, a writer, and so he’s bound so find love in the smaller, more mundane things. which works wonders when it comes to writing but can be quite problematic when it comes to realizing that you have feelings for your best friend, right? it’s all these things piling up inside of him until he bursts, like you said. i do think that the bursting comes easier for him than it does for mnho — yes, it’s messy, and it feels quite chaotic, but jsvng is a very expressive person even when he doesn’t mean to be. he can cry or he can ramble or he can even raise his voice, and he finds his words, eventually, no matter how painfully awkward they are to say out loud.

mnho, to me, on the other hand, has such a grasp on his own life and the way of things that it’s the disruption of that order that tips him off balance. it’s as you said; once the doubt is planted, he’s too self aware to just ignore it and move on as if everything is normal, because he /knows/ that something is wrong. but knowing it doesn’t always mean he can do something about it, and so he does everything that he can to deal with it internally. surely, if he thinks it over enough times and rationalizes it as much as he possibly can, the problem is bound to disappear eventually, right? except jsvng never stops being there, and his feelings never stop growing, begging to be heard, to be acted upon, and this goes entirely against mnho’s nature, the way he likes to live his life always keeping one hand on the steering wheel. i Love (!!) that thing about expressing his feelings in exactly five words because yes! even if he eventually has to sit down and talk about what’s happening, because the consequences of not doing so weigh out the consequences of doing it, he’s still going to only give away what he absolutely has to — you know how singers need to learn breath control, which means not just to take no more and no less than the amount of air that you need, but also to know how to measure your exhales, the way you let it out, careful so as to not run out of breath mid-sentence or come out too strong when you don’t mean to, in an attempt to get all of the air out quickly? i don’t know if that makes sense, ignore my now-retired musical theatre student geeky self, but. yeah. yeah!!

hi! nice to meet you! what you’re describing about mnho and writing the world (and jsvng!) through his eyes is exactly why i he’s my favorite pov to write. i have so much fun with him and i hope you do too! when i first got into 5kz most of my wips were made to be written in jsvng’s pov, but now i rarely write from his pov anymore. </3 one wip i’m working on right now is jsvng pov And jsvng-centric though! so i’m excited about that.

and about my fics, it’s such an honor that you want to read them! lucky for you, i don’t have many (two and one third to be precise). i’d recommend reading “it only takes a taste” first, since it’s my most lighthearted fic, and /then/ “fragments of a boy in blue”, which is both a little more complex And my absolute pride and joy. you can also read the only public chapter of “vitamin, dopamine” and come yell at me here for putting it on hiatus.

i hope you like what you find! thank you so much for this ask. <3

u get it! little hnnie giggling and smiling and filling a room with light. when you’re little your emotions are a lot more fleeting so i imagine there’d be a lot of cold and rain followed immediately by warmth and light (which causes rainbows!), ie: falling, scraping his knee, but getting one of the cool band-aids and having his mom kiss it better. my cutesie. i cry…

i imagine that even if curses and magic exist in this world, having a curse like this since birth can be very isolating, even moreso throughout high school, when /everything/ is an excuse to feel alienated. jisvng learns very young to keep to himself and hide from the world, but this also means that the few relationships he allows himself to have (his mom, a few friends) are as close and strong as can be.

i think there wouldn’t be a cure per se as this is a curse and not a disease, but i never thought of what it would take to really make the curse go away for good. i always imagined that mnho would be someone who would try to help jsvng find a way to “cure” himself (with magic! like you said!) because that’s what jsvng has wanted his whole life, to be normal. but through mnho, falling in love with him and being loved back so intensely and purely, jsvng learns that maybe he doesn’t need to “fix” himself at all, as this is a part of who he is.

thank u for the brainworms please please share anything else u might want (!!!) !!!

HAI. omg. don’t mind if i do!

so jisvng’s mother was cursed when she was pregnant with him and he was born with the weather curse. at its core it’s a little like hanahaki? the curse exists as a consequence or punishment for jisvng’s mother’s decisions in love, but instead of just manifesting when jisvng is in love and it is unrequited, it manifests… always. it’s like an extension to how his body feels and expresses different emotions.

the most basic ones are joy and sadness, which manifest as warmth and cold respectively. pure, unrestrained happiness presents as warmth all over the body and a faint glow that resembles the sun, whereas intense sadness or depression can feel like a freezing, numbing cold. ice can even spread over his skin if it’s /that/ bad.

the one i like the most is love. not only in the romantic sense but in every sense possible, love presents in the form of flowers growing and spreading across jisvng’s skin. each flower represents something different; some grow when he feels loved and appreciated, some when he feels beautiful, some when he’s the one loving and appreciated and wanting someone. the flowers usually don’t last longer than a few days, but they can grow back with any wave of intense love or affection.

of course, pretty and poetic as it all seems, having a weather curse is inconvenient most of the times. frustration and anger cause storms that can at best be bothersome and at worst put himself and others in danger. envy and jealousy make vines grow up his limbs, and they rot with the intensity of the feeling. jisvng doesn’t know how to control the curse completely, even after years of trying. the best he could find was to try and feel as little as possible when he’s in public—but this has consequences, of course. and there are still situations where he can’t help himself; moments where his anxiety is too strong and manifests as a small earthquake, moments where he fills a room with fog from embarrassment, moments where he stands in front of the person he loves most and can’t help a variety of flowers from blooming all over his skin, no matter how ashamed he may be of being seen like that.

so… yeah. those are the basics. i could talk about him literally Forever. i’m not sure where to go with this idea but it means the world to me so please share any thoughts / hcs / questions if u want!!

it really is hard! i think with my job being remote + in tech the fact that i spend 40 hours a week looking at a screen feeling my brain melt out of my ears adds to it definitely. in my free time, the idea of staying inside with my laptop doesn’t feel too tempting. maybe i should try writing at a café or someplace nice… ah idk idk idk. anyway,

i agree with everything else you said, from the kudos thing to developing ideas in my mind and trying to find time to write them to the outlining thing! i think, in general terms, it’s so easy for something we do as a hobby for our own enjoyment to become a little tedious or heavy. for me, i’m a creative, i’m majoring in an art-related, creation-based field. not writing makes me feel weird because i know it’s what i want to do, i know i like to do it, so i feel like i should be able to. but! bills don’t pay themselves.

thank u again ^^ love love love to talk to other people about this stuff. makes me feel like i’m not going crazy hehe

hi hi hi! thank u so much for taking the time to send this, it really means a lot. ^^

i would say it’s a mix of not writing because i’m tired (i’m a part time uni student, i also work full time in front of my laptop and it is killing my brain little by little), and writing itself feels more tiring because i haven’t done it in a way that felt fulfilling (ie, how i feel after writing it, kudos or not, feels proportional to the effort and time spent doing it). because i’m tired i don’t write, and the longer i think about writing and how badly i miss it without actually doing it, the more dreadful and frustrating the idea of sitting down and trying to write becomes.

but your point about just writing without a care for grammar and punctuation and structure is really good! i do tend to get carried away by outlining to the point i find it hard to go back and Rewrite Things Properly, but i think i’ll keep trying to find some middle ground where i’m writing more than just planning what to write but in a carefree enough way that i’m not killing myself over every little sentence. i hope that’ll make me feel better and make things seem easier in general.

sorry for the mini essay. thanks again for ur message ^^