In the last few years the only time I managed to cry in front of anyone is when my dad screamed at me enough to make me breakdown completely. I rarely manage to actually cry, even when my mom passed away I barely cried, so I just wouldn't cry in front of people even when telling them that I am sad because I can't. I would be fine with telling friends I'm not feeling okay, and strangers only if I'm so attention starved that I will be okay with anyone taking pity on me and making me feel like I'm not just a ghost…