so many people who pay so much money just to see him, to even speak to him, even if they’re not allowed to touch him (even if he’d want it). everyone watching him and dressing him as they please and tittering when they can see the waistband of his boxers showing above his jeans, cameras flashing capturing moments that would be more voyeuristic if every single movement wasn’t calculated and intentional no matter how casual he attempts to make it seem. smiling at him telling them that they love him, that he’s so good, so pretty and handsome, that he’s so talented, asking him to tell them he loves them and getting to fulfill people’s fantasies (which is his own personal fantasy). like yeah i would not be surprised if he was half hard under that table half the time. condom so you can’t tell how much he’s been leaking is so 😵‍💫 shifting around him as he goes soft and gets hard over and over and feeling how much of his arousal is accumulating as he shifts in his seat. god. let me get under that table.

did the math and 33% of what i've published in the past 9ish years on ao3 is gmg... yeah lol. gmg was the first time i've ever written a fic longer than 3k (with benchmark) and i've written multiple fics that hit that since when before and most of what i've previously posted has been under 1k.

so even though i have like 70k published across a few different ao3 accounts, most of that is drabbles and covers a gajillion different ships. and includes y/n stuff lol. so 70k published, 30k of which is zb1 and 23k of which is gmg. yeah.

honestly considering how much i've been kicking myself over not locking in like i basically wrote almost the same amount in the past year that i've written in the 8 years prior because gunwook and gmg make me That insane. so yeah. probably a significant contributor to why im so neurotic about if i "count" as a "writer" or not.

content warning: nasty

so since i’ve been writing parasite fic i’ve been reading like. other horror stories about parasitism for inspiration and like. i’m not writing this rn lol but brood parasitism has always been particularly fascinating to me and i was like. i wonder if there’s a brood parasite that takes things far enough to directly like. feast on ova for sustenance and implant their own eggs for internal incubation where yours once were. i guess it would end up being like an ectopic pregnancy from hell (as if a normal one isn’t horrifying enough). but i think this could be like a nasty subset of tentacle porn or something and afterwards it feels like you have cramps and it’s like am i going to give birth to tentacle larvae. no. it’s worse 🧡

anyway i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a parasite like that out there but i elected not to research because my imagination is already giving me sufficient nightmare fuel

they don’t have to be 🧡 icl i’m begging for the day when he’s old enough this stops being a conversation topic. most of the people that bag on his noona fans don’t even know how old he is like he’s turning 20 in 3 months and they genuinely think he just turned 18. like they don’t know him and they don’t care enough about him to google “park gunwook birthday”. which probably would also show them him twerking in a crop top the second he was 20 in korean ages and flirting with aunties older than his mother.

like don’t fucking talk about “protecting” him when you’re the ones putting “gunwook” and “pedophile” next to each other in searches for him to see. i do not care. he does not care.

frankly i don’t ever want to see anyone talk about this again like i did not come back after getting run off over this non-issue to continue beating the same dead horse. we are here to talk about gunwook sex whether or not anyone else wants us to.

his braces are sooo cute… i feel like there are distinct vibes between little brother and kid cousin and nephew and son like. in terms of the type of cute aggression or affection that someone elicits in you. i think jihoo definitely squarely falls in the little brother box because like to me at least for other descriptors there are some levels of instinct for responsibility that they elicit where jihoo is like. i want to help him get away with things but also he’s a menace and i am Not helping him with his math homework. like if my parents tell me to watch him it’s more like im watching out for other people than him personally LOL. but like he’s still very squishable he’s just a funky little guy and if he wants to hang out with me and my friends im not going to chase him off.

it’s established that im generally a maknae liker (unless i fall in love with one of the members and become an insane person) but like. this particular flavor is generally the type i like. like i do like idols where i feel like i can feel a sense of pride watching as they grow as artists but it’s like. i did not raise that boy. he has a fully formed soul (or something close to it) and a heart full of mischief and eyes full of life. they would sell me to satan for one corn chip but they would also terrorize the devil.

tbf i feel like there's a diff between getting teased by your coworkers slash roommates about it versus the noonas doing it in his virtual echo chamber. like even if both of them call you a baby or say you're acting pathetic there's enough of a horny overcast to the latter that he can bask in it and let the warmth of his own shame wash over him. like yes noona would kiss away your tears and hold you away from the rest of the world.

idk i feel like it's always been pretty obvious how he feels, even if he's been hesitant to talk about the extent of some of it (and that is fair and i generally respect him more for it because he does not owe it to everyone to explicate all of that like god knows we all have a dire enough parasocial relationship with him without it). but like. i do think that it's like... more people care enough about him now to understand how he's feeling so it's less terrifying to have himself so much on display. it doesn't feel as much now like people will see the desperation of a cornered animal and write it off as indiscriminate aggression.

idk i'm just talking out of my ass lol i'm projecting my own interpretation of his emotional expressions as much as anyone else is. and i'm probably some sort of psychopath because seeing him sad doesn't stop me from being horny lol. like genuinely it's cute to me seeing him distressed because he just cares so much about people and he wants to stay with them. he wants to be with them, and the reminder they won't be is devastating. (but he'll always have people by his side, even if they're not constant, even if it's not in the same way) like he gets attached fast and hard so separation is enough of a whirlwind, whether it's eliminations or disbandment or other things. but he stays attached, despite all that. like i know he's still pretty young but still being close enough with his friends from middle school to do all he does with them is like, insane to me. and i think it speaks to how much he's willing to invest in keeping people in his life. idk. it's cute.

hao would be over gunwook's shoulder telling him to look at how much hanbin loves being bred and asking him if that's another way that gunwook is like hanbin too and gunwook gets all flustered like no i dont have a kink for knocking up your partner and hao is like. i meant you probably want to get bred too. and gunwook is like oh. he wasn't aware that he did but now that the thought's in his head he can't stop thinking about it. (and then it's gunwook's turn to be depressed that hao can't get him pregnant lmfao)

but yeahh lmao i think gunwook would be kind of nervous when they ask him to join them for hanbin's next heat like... what if he cums right away. well. that's not a problem because the point is for him to dump as much cum as possible in hanbin lol. but he wants to Do Well so hao offers to show him what hanbin likes. and gunwook is like. okay yeah i'd feel better. and he fully expects to just sit in the cuck chair while he watches hao fuck hanbin but hao put his hand on his ass and gunwook would slick up if he were capable of it like. Oh. and then hao fucks gunwook the way that hanbin likes it and gunwook starts to feel several sorts of ways about several different things

hanbin probably wheedles gunwook into coming back again before they start trying for a second kid because hao goes into heat when hanbin is already pretty far along and hao is the type that gets kind of aggressive in his and hanbin prioritizes the baby above all else. and like, when hanbin was trying to get knocked up they were pretty accommodating with him because of how big an ask it is but they kind of just treat him like a dildo-onahole combo while they make out over him and damn why is he kind of into this too. he kind of wants to act out to make them pay attention to him again but hao is. a lot.