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How do you know that you are in love?
When I act disgustingly cute or whatever.
In my case.. I don't think I will ever rely to the butterflies in my stomach that heavily now because apparently they often proved me wrong the past year. So maybe the wise answer would be.. when I feel my utmost comfort with their presence, when they can make me feel that I don't have to be afraid to let down my guard and the walls around me for them, when I don't have to play pretend all the time, and when I know they're not gonna abandon me like all the others.
I was never meant to love, it seems absent from the script of my life. I can't do love.
I know I'm in love when I feel comfortable around them, I can blabbering about anything in front of them comfortable without feeling worry because I feel safe and sound with them. I feel excited as I saw their notification pop up on my phone and smile afterwards, I would spent time together only just two of us, even just talking about nothing. When I saw something and it reminds me on them, kaya bakal "Ih, jadi inget dia, deh" atau "oh, ini minuman atau makanan kesukaannya". Beside that, I always find whatever they do are adorable yet charismatic. All I could think just spent any moment with them, even on sad times or happy times, because I want beside them in any condition and become their safe place to lean on.
I know that I am in love is when I started to wait for any notification about them pops up. They will be one of the things that happen to occupy my mind as well, that's for sure, because every little things seem to remind me of them. I will make time for them no matter how busy and packed I am; be it a little heads up about what I am going to do in a day or some random TMIs in between. I started to find everything they do is adorable, too. I started to get all giddy, excited, and so ready to listen to them yapping and blabbering; be it about their day or just some stories. When they are around, I tend to be smiley and just, comfortable. I will let my guards down and let myself be vulnerable in front of them because I know that I am safe.
I know I’m in love when they’re constantly on my mind, and just thinking about them makes me smile like a goof. The happiness and excitement I feel when we're together or even just thinking about them is unreal. Their happiness becomes as important as mine, if not more. We have this deep emotional connection where I can share everything. I start picturing a future with them, and it just feels right. I get into the stuff they like, and I even jot down what they enjoy and what bothers them. There’s this magnetic pull that makes me want to be close, hold hands, and share every moment. I want to be their biggest cheerleader, supporting their dreams and goals. And when I’m with them, it feels like home—safe, warm, and just perfect.
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