Rip me :c

It's a standing umbrella thing with some sand bags. I'll throw sand in their face and chew their eyelids off

There is a knife next to me so BACK OFF!

It’s a mirror, but it’s attached to my wardrobe....so not much help really. Unless I am the actual weapon 😮

Would still be fucked to be fair

I could burn eyes with whiskey and the wine glass that it's in, so probably well enough.

A pillow to my left and a towel to the left. Maybe as a distraction to smack him/her in the face or maybe put it around his/her neck.

my cat? bout to swing her missing leg at everybody, let's go

I mean I could pummel somebody with a laptop I suppose, maybe shank them with a piece of broken motherboard to finish them off

Well I happen to own various knives, plus I sleep with a machete next to me.

A shoe horn. I’m a goner.

My aunt, she has a clan that stretches all over the five continents, I'm safe.