Ew.

I think everyone's quality of life would improve, not just mine. It's destiny, it's a thing that must be. I have the ideology, I have the jacket. Every year that goes by that I don't have a Mississippi mudflap, the world spins a little further off its axis. All of this is my fault.

I feel like I’d buy a nightclub and be a third-tier ‘celebrity’ who would attend the opening of a packet of crisps if it got me in the papers. Well past my prime but always with at least one young stud hanging on my arm. I see earrings suddenly becoming very, very important; and gold chains - lots of them, all worn at once. I’d become known in all the wrong circles for wearing all white all the time. I’d wear sky-high platform stilettos and masses of lipstick that’s not quite the right shade for me, and I’d never be seen in public without either. I’d develop a strong Essex accent overnight and be calling everyone “luv” by Thursday.

I think I would go into wrestling, but I would be one of those heel 'manager' dudes who interferes in the matches so my guy can win...and then I only have to actually wrestle when they make me do a special no disqualification match as punishment for my interference

I've been known to have one one occasion, it makes you feel powerful

That would mean I have a full head of hair again, so for the better. I could then just change my haircut to whatever I want.

For the worse.

20-30% better