I don't, though I've wanted to learn acoustic guitar or drums for a while now

Nope

Well, I have an electric guitar lying around and I practice with it when I have the energy.

i used to play the drums

Does /dev/urandom count?

Nope

Yes, saxophone and a little bit of harmonica, but I don't have any formal training in the latter.

mayonnaise

No

I can whistle the Weezer riff sorta okayish

i'm learning piano

No...unless the nerves of my teachers count!

i'm trying my damnedest to play bass LOL i'm mainly a vocalist