Hard to choose. So it's a tie between every family celebration event, all "employee appreciation" parties where they give me a slice of pizza I don't want instead of rights, and any party where the pets are scared or don't exist.
Oh it would have been a Birthday Party with the Irish side of my family (not mine). I left at like 8:30pm with a bottle of Champagne as my dad asked me to take it home as really drunk people were just going to down it (and it was quite pricy). But from what I hear, my family caused a bit of havoc (broke chairs and glasses in the pub, flattened a few peoples fences on their way back home, soaked a double bed at our house and pissed at our front door etc.). Everyone who could remember the night - they said it was a real shitter. The troublemakers were back at the pub at 11am - last I saw them they were driving away.
I have been invited to a marriage of my girlfriends workmate. The father of the husband held a very long speech. He pointed out the social superiority of his son compared to the bride, the accomplishments and character of the son as superior to most he knows and how he hopes that the features of his son will help to pull the bride up to a better level and make the couple a harmonic and well working family soon. And so on and so on. They even had a "fun" video about the couple that mainly advertised the son and his upbringing among a superior social level. It was like a misguided bad car advertising video. It lasted almost 2 hours, speech and video combined. My girlfriend, her boss and me were sitting at a table at the side and the staff was busy to bring more drinks to us. I emptied my first glass of wine in less than five minutes. It was unbearable. After the extremely unpleasant and ugly son-selling event and bride bashing horror we called the service staff to please leave a bottle on our table. We needed another hour to recover from that and I had the disadvantage of staying sober as I had to drive my girlfriend and her boss back. All the muscles in my face were stunned and stoned. The couple was humiliated, silent, sad and as cheerful as a dead squirrel. Their day was ruined and fucked deep into shit. I felt for them. After a short while the service staff told us that the party was over as they had been ordered not to bring any more drinks or snacks and that they would pack and leave in an hour. So we were happy to leave and try to start to grow some new nerves since most of those had been damaged and burnt to ashes during the course of the celebration. That dad had the nerve to also point out to the party that he expects his new daughter in law to get pregnant very soon as his son was very healthy. He also pointed out that if that didn't happen in a timely manner the brides inferior health and body was to blame. For a short while I fancied the idea to stab the guy with a meat fork several times so he would shut the fuck up. Can you blame me for that?
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