Sir, this is a Wendy's

Please stand up. You’re embarrassing me.

I would die on the spot from the embarrassment this stranger has caused me.

"Lol lmfao I'm not Grace"

Hair flip.

Cringe

Touch them on the head and say, “Bless you my child”.

off with his head

I'd be like "yea that's what I thought" and then spit on them and walk away

They read my bios here so I wouldn't be surprised.

I would feel sent up and watch out for a candid camera.

Slap the fedora off their head

I'd go "Okay, where is the camera? Where is it?"