I won't do that work when others will gladly do for me.

I used to about 4 years ago. My own thoughts. Afraid of failure. Considering everything I did or attempted to do a failure, rather than a mistake that can be corrected. No self-worth. No sense of dignity. Shamelessly spouting out anger and negativity online.

Nowadays, I don't stay sad. I focus on something and pay attention to that. Gems. Tarot cards. Words. The news. Journaling. Music. Nature. Animals. Pretty much whatever I shift my mindset towards, then fixate on that for awhile, move on and maybe come back to it later. I don't rush it, I just set my own pace.

i try not to

think about my traumas or triggers

So easy. Next !

Be up at night alone with my thoughts

I watch too much telly, especially breaking news.

Check my bank account.

Listen to sad songs. I have a list of them:

Luther Vandross - Dance with My Father
Gary Jules - Mad World
Tiffany - Could've Been
Janis Ian - At Seventeen
Bright Eyes - Poison Oak
Bobby Goldsboro - Honey
Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang
Supertramp - The Logical Song
Richard Harris - MacArthur Park
Plain White Tees - Hey There Delilah
Priscilla Ann - Fine on the Outside
Harry Chapin - Cat's in the Cradle
Loreena McKennitt - Greensleeves
Rihanna - Unfaithful
Jewel - Foolish Games
Liz Kay - True Faith (orig. New Order)

Spending moneys on superfluous stuff.

I check my bank account.

think about my existence