Mallesil meeting in the woods is top 10 most romantic things. And if the handsome, raven haired man appeared in Silver’s dreams before then (perhaps implying Malleus has been…playing with them), it just makes it so much sweeter. Talking about a mysterious man with an aura of regality who stole his heart away, all the little animals around him going 😑not this shit again… and then they meet by chance. Cute.

Hmmm… I’ve analyzed Mallesil through the theoretical frame of Edmund Burke’s sublime and beautiful, and I feel like it’s even more pertinent in this scenario. I will quote Wikipedia: “According to Burke, the Beautiful is that which is well-formed and aesthetically pleasing, whereas the Sublime is that which has the power to compel and destroy us.”

Malleus is the sublime; Silver, the beautiful.

Malleus is a type of man Silver had never seen before, so meeting him randomly like this, watching him slowly, carefully approach the way a human approaches a cat—it’s thrilling, a bit scary. Just the horns and the pointed ears signal he’s not human, therefore stronger, but you wouldn’t even need that to tell that he’s a powerful entity, carrying himself so elegantly for someone of his stature; and the leaves on the trees tremble in fear.

In turn, Silver’s innocence and kindness shine through especially as a RSA boy. He’s been around the good guys his entire life, so he hasn’t been influenced by the diaso bad vibes lol. He’s just as loyal, just as naïve, just as clueless and kind. His beautiful face and colourful garments only affirm his angelic aura. Every living being is drawn to him, even Malleus, especially Malleus.

It’s love at first sight. Songbird choirs, river flow hymns, flower petal confetti, dancing sunlight, violet atmosphere. I need to stress that they’re both absolutely bewildered to have found each other. It feels like they’ve known each other forever (and they have!!!). They’re not exactly strangers, they know of each others existence, their families, their species are enemies, after all, but in the thick of the forest, only the velvety whistling of the wind carries any meaning; meaning, they’re hidden away from all expectations, completely bare before each other, young and free. They forget their lineage in the moment and just… look at each other. Cue a little once upon a dream moment, if that’s your style (it definitely is mine). It’s so sweet and precious, but so delightfully dangerous <3

Yuh. I can get behind that. I can see Malleus attempting to rape Silver, literally, but it doesn’t work IRL lol, because Silver sees this sexy ass half dragon prince of the darkness and his pants will be OFF immediately. Like girl. A dream works way, way better, because of how confusing dreams are. Let’s see… Silver post-book 7, traumatized by all these events, Malleus going berserk, Silver having to save him, seeing in his dreams Malleus, half monstrous fucking dragon, pinning this poor boy to the ground, putting the fear of death in him—again. He’s traumatizing him again. Silver fights as muscle memory, survival instincts, the feeling that something is wrong. And Silver, from Mal’s POV, so afraid, thrashing confusedly, because the poor dear is asleep and doesn’t know. Dreams give this opportunity to act in ways you don’t in real life, so Silver is here, subconscious unveiled, angry and afraid and struggling to stab Malleus (his limbs don’t feel like they belong to him.) It’s thrilling. And if Malleus makes way for Silver to fight back, and Silver is on top of him now, piercing his heart over and over as if he’s not sure one stab will be enough, it feels holy (you all know how I love the concept of transverberation.) (here I assume that if you die in a dream, you don’t die in real life.) Malleus’ joy just adds to the surreality of it all. Silver doesn’t know when he penetrated him. Stabbing doesn’t work, so we try the next best thing, choking, and it doesn’t work, and as usual pain and pleasure amalgamate, and they feel so mellow in dreams, and Malleus is still alive, but Silver won’t give up. Malleus has always loved how resilient Silver is. It all makes for a very lovely dream.

I love It sm!!! He will never get clocked. Vil’s lessons in fairy gala paid off because now Silver knows what it’s like to disguise himself and deceive the “enemy” (the fairies were not the enemy in his mind but you get it). Put him in a pretty dress and makeup, task him to seduce the enemy… he will be clumsy, he will be a terrible actor, so much so that it never crosses anybody’s mind that he’s sus—he’s just that earnest. Plus he’s such a beautiful woman… he has daggers under his skirt, kept in place by a garter. When he’s in a private place with his target they’ll think he’s ready to have sex when he reaches under his skirt lol… wrong. Pulls the dagger on their throat, firmly tells them to obey him and they won’t die… hehehehe.

(If it goes wrong poor Silver gets raped 😞 The target is pleasantly surprised to see that all along Silver was a boy… after all is said and done, Malleus will deal with the enemy himself.)

WE SUCCESSFULLY MADE MALLESIL OLD MAN YAOI!!!😭😭😭🍾 I love it so much. Silver inheriting some of his father’s playfulness!!! The Valley already loved him to bits as a child now they think he’s aged gracefully like a fine wine. He really is a dilf😭😭😭 sometimes wears his hair in a short ponytail… actually, I’d like to think he sometimes grows his hair to a bit below the shoulder and Malleus braids it/ties it with a little bow 🛐 when he has enough Malleus cuts it (read: wrests the scissors from Silver’s hands. Not that he doesn’t trust silver with them! He just wants to be nice to him <3)

He unapologetically flirts and it kills Malleus every single time. He smiles a lot more!! He laughs!!! Grips your shoulders. Silver is A HAPPY OLD MAN. All the maidens on the land love him. He’s a sweet handsome mature man. His blouse is open just enough so you can see a glimpse of titty. He doesn’t care. When he smiles his eyes are all soft creases and silver feathery lashes. gorgeous!!! And he retains his strong build of course. He keeps insisting daily exercise and healthy habits are what make him look the way he does and not the fact he was bestowed the gift of beauty. I’d love to see him smile candidly at a bunch of dark fey maidens and them literally swooning, unfolding their fans, clutching their pearls. HES BEEN BREAKING HEARTS SINCE SIX YEARS OLD WHEN DOES IT END DIANE

Can I bring up the drunk sex now? I’ll die if I don’t. Silver’s alcohol tolerance and taste has matured since the first drink Malleus gave him… now Malleus either gives him something super potent like absinthe or makes him drink a full bottle of wine to get him drunk. They have such fun sex :,) Malleus worships every single trace of age, esp his crow’s feet AAAAHHHH. All his well-deserved scars!!! The laugh lines. Silver looks young and quite supple for his age despite it all, he’s a perfect princess. Also, do you ever think about how old couples think tying the sub’s wrists to the headboard is like the kinkiest hottest thing ever. Maybe it’s just me. This is what American movies made me think. Well, I want this for them. Malleus summoning vines to tie Silver’s wrists together, how exciting… Mal kisses his entire body, they’re both giggling like they’re young😭 mal sucking him off🫡 it’s mean because Silver cant pet mal’s head and push him down… he can only lie there and take what mal gives him :,) (mal swallows… he does like to get facials occasionally however OH MY… who said those were only for subs???) silver’s stamina gets better with age and tbh he has no choice lol sweetie has been getting fucked by the big horny dragon man for 30 years. They last hours!!! And if he has longer hair, please imagine malleus pulling on it while silver moans without any restraint. While he gets flustered about people hearing them, in the heat of the moment he cares only about the 12 inch fey cock(s) stirring his insides. 🍾 he never gets tired of it (them).

Knifeplay… no im serious hear me out. Mal wants to be tied up LOL who is he fooling. Silver is on top of him, kissing him all sweet, turns his head, sees his dagger on the nightstand, unsheathes it and!!! Tears Malleus’ blouse with it WHOAAFJKGFJSHHD OLD MAN GETTING BOLD!!! Malleus is so excited.

Okay im sorry for all that!!!!!!!! I had thoughts!!!

BIG BROTHER?????????!! ANON YOURE SICK. SICK!!! And I love it. Like fuck it, let’s just make these two boys who have nothing to do with each other commit the greatest sins together. And it fits!!! You know what! Trey is the oldest brother and Sebek is the youngest. Trey examining Sebek’s teeth and Sebek is like, don’t treat me like I’m your little brother! And Trey is like… wait… what if you were? OH MY GOD… atp Sebek is like, Trey you’re disgusting. (With a visible bulge in his boxers).

Sebek is part of the Clover family atp… Trey’s parents love him. The old regulars know his name and vice versa. Gets called handsome by the old ladies. Nobody treats him differently for being half fae! :) And in Briar Valley, Papa Zigvolt makes Trey feel less alone, tells him about fey’s habits… Mama Zigvolt is so nice as well, yk she hugs him and kisses his cheek hehe.

Through all of this, Sebek will come back home and no matter what he wants to do, he will be supported, because his father knows what it’s like to be an outcast in his family. Trey can’t say the same… he’s expected to help at the bakery, help it flourish; as the oldest son, he’s going to be the one to inherit it. But Sebek will feel bad about… his duty as future knight. Sebek’s entire life led up to him serving the king. To find he has a passion and love independent from Malleus… that he’s his own person… it’s fucked up. Malleus doesn’t care, which def makes Sebek feel worse. He’s replaceable… and Trey, at home… he’s irreplaceable. They cope by having lots of cousin sex woohoo

YEAHAHAHSHDSHFJEJBFEKCNE TREYSEBE ARE COUSINS!!!!!🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾

So you’re telling me on top of career drama and human/fae relations… the cousins are in an incestuous relationship and the younger is into dilfs. Anon, why did we just create game of thrones for bakers and dentists.

Okay. Let me create a timeline because this is kind of insane

Treysebe enter a relationship
Sebek meets papa clover, his love for dilfs is unveiled
Sebek comes to the queendom of roses two weeks as trey’s boyfriend and helps out at the bakery
Sebek learns of papa clover’s brother who moved to briar valley to become a dentist and marry a fae, they haven’t spoken to each other in 20+ years
treysebe silently connect the dots. They panic a little. They’re both hard. They’re like no, it’s not right, but they passionately make out and treys like make me stop, sebek, but THEY CANT STOP AND THEY MAKE HARDDDD LOVE OHHH THEYRE COUSINS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER
they play the boyfriends part in front of treys parents ofc… if nobody knows… if they pretend they’re not related, then it’s fine (it’s not fine but they love it!!! Oh my god)
after that it’s trey’s turn to visit the valley. unpaid internship at the dentist office sndnskfjsj. And it can’t be mistaken… papa Zigvolt looks so much like papa clover (wouldn’t it be funny if they were twins jesus)
treysebe fight for their lives. Papa zigvolt mentions Trey looks just like his brother OH MY GODSDJDDJDJDBSB he almost chokes on his water
the nights of passion afterwards though. They’re nasty.
AND THROUGH ALL OF THIS TREY IS WORRIED he will be disowned for wanting to be a dentist. Part of him is ready for it! Ok fine he’ll move to the valley, marry sebek, work for papa zigvolt, and NOBODY WILL KNOW THEYRE COUSINS it gives him such a migraine cause you know all he wants is to not get involved in anything crazy now the most normal man you’ve ever conceived is one of two protagonists of an incestuous drama. Insane

It is super hot!!! And… Lilia. 100%. You know, in the y2k era, back when the girls had those cute butterfly belly button piercings? Assuming Lilia found Silver in 2004 and he started going on trips to human lands a few years later, he might’ve seen those and decided to get one lol. He showed it off to Malleus who was utterly confused but intrigued. He told Mal, oh you should get one 😭😭😭LOL. With his cute little happy trail… sooooo real.

Do you remember when Yana said beta Jade had more of a punk aesthetic and the girls started drawing a bunch of Jades covered in piercings? Okay… consider Jade with a little piercing on his belly button… with the nice turquoise hair on his tummy. Love it… only Floyd knows of it💜

YESSSSSS PRECISELY!!! 😭😭😭😭 we know sebek usually wants/tries to top but damn when it’s a sexy older man with glasses and those baker arms… one can only fantasize about riding that kind of man all night. He wonders if he’s as big as his boyfriend… (a moment of silence for mama clover. size queens rise!) Papa Clover tells Trey, oh this boy is well built, he could help out at the bakery sometime! Sebek’s soul leaves his body. Cause now the thought of that man kneading dough… can he knead Sebek’s chest??? PLEASE??? somebody help Sebe he’s overheating. He needs to ride that man so bad. He needs to act like a total slut for this DILF or he will die.

Sebek is so horny that night he throws his pride aside and calls Trey… and you know it’s urgent if the matter makes him use his phone. Cue phone sex!!! Trey’s suave voice dirty talking sebek goes so crazy… trey’s a gross pervert, we agree right?? Yeah that’s when he brings up his own father oooohhhh nasty. What’d you like about him, sebek? Does he look like me? What do you want him to do to you? What do you want to do to him? Wow.

He’ll definitely fantasize about the threesome… big boy sandwiched between two shorter but muscular men omgggg. Trey sucks him off, papa clover fucks him. The fantasies get so nasty sebek fingers himself instead of just jerking off😭 trey talks him through it on the phone. God. Sebek loses it when he finally calls him a good boy.

Can we pls imagine sebek getting a part time job at the clover bakery all bc he passed papa’s vibe check🫡 he’ll learn how to make all sorts of pastries… he tries not to get distracted by those two hot older (ok Trey is two years older but) men lifting boxes and kneading dough. Papa clover behind him showing him how to do it, supervising him, looking over his shoulder whew. Plus he’s so sweet he’ll give sebe pastries to take home. The zigvolt siblings are gonna be very happy🫡 Another moment of silence for mama clover who has no clue of the homoeroticism going on in the kitchen🛐 then again, papa has no clue either, but lol

This is giving me grade A brainrot so imagine trey’s and sebe’s parents meeting WHEWWEJWEJFJDJDJSJDJX the mamas bonding over having the same taste in men HELLOOOOOOO. And the DILFery of it all. Papas zigvolt and clover look v similar.

Now I’m begging you to imagine the mess if it turns out papa zigvolt’s side is related to papa clover’s. Like, i don’t know, both men being cousins or something. Oh! Oh. OHHH…

OOHOHKFJDDJFJDJFJDJ NOOOO IDIA PIMPING OUT HIS BOYFRIEND… it’s especially evil when you consider idia is a rich boy HE DOESNT EVEN NEED THE MONEY OH IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK. Lilia gets ahold of the pictures too you know it, but only as muscle red. Idia wanted to show off his boyfriend and muscle red was like, oh really what does he look like? Next thing you know the discord chat is flooded with pictures of silver posing clumsily, expression blank as ever, vacant eyes, in a pastel blue bikini… but there’s a charm to it. So THIS is what happens when silver goes to sleepovers at ignihyde. Idia mentions he has ~spicier~ pictures (silver, back arched, showing off his hole stuffed with a butt plug jesus) and ofc lilia tells him to send them.

Heaven help idia if malleus finds out of this lol😭

Right. Silver is always doing the same damn face and malleus is always swimming in his own thoughts. When theyre together they have the same damn expressions like do yall like each other ??? BUT. On rare occasions you’ll see them exchange a sweet little fleeting smile in the hallways, in the cafeteria… :,} only those who glance at them at the right moment can see that they’re actually very in love. And that they have emotions LOL. Besides lilia and sebek who are always with them, idia, leona, and cater clocked them. About idia, you’ll tell me he’s always looking at his screen, but see, something about the quiet ones is they know the tea. They listen. They observe. They stare. I’m one of them that’s how i know. Leona was unfortunate enough to see the lovebirds smile at each other in the greenhouse when they thought they were alone💀 and cater has a powerpoint on the matter that he presented to PMC.

Anyway, when it’s made clear they’re a couple, they look so #cool together. Power couple. Nobody dares talk to them (mostly bc of mal).