God if only, I am sentient mold

oh no I have reached the 'looking up words kiddos use' phase of my life, please have me humanely destroyed

not really but I do like to keep up with who's winning and losing so that the necessary countries can be mocked

Splitters are a thing, and if you are able and need to daisy chain them, you'd have to use displayport connections and accomplish the same thing

Chemical therapy and unresolved abandonment issues🫠

Being high wasn't too different from not being high, so I just stick with my bourbon and oxycodone and we'll see if we wake up

Stupidus Maximus

is cryo therapy when I jump into a freezer and wake up thawed in 3000 years?

mixing is inevitable with evangelical 'go forth and convert the masses' type religions, but people should really keep sky-daddy's rules out of public policy and work for the common good regardless of belief

deadly farts 💀

Traded them for a bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos

I always thought pussy was a stand-in for woman, the 'weaker' sex, and it had nothing to do with the biology or physiology of that specific body part, but it was simply that it was associated with women

ice cream, too much pressure to eat a popsicle before it's dripping all over your hand

no I want to see toddler racing, that would be entertaining, look at them just waddling toward the finish line while I drink a beer

because it works? lots of companies do it - 'hey here's this new thing, not like that old garbage', or politicians will be like 'hey I'm an outsider, vote for me and it will totally be different from those assholes in charge now' it's all the same outsider/upstart/underdog mentality and people latch on to it, even if it's really the same