Dear Sesya kicik. I know that your childhood was very colorful and filled with playing with your friends almost all the time, but thank you so much for choosing to grow up and survive until now. Maybe Sesya kicik didn't say much about what she felt, kept her feelings to herself, and formed her current mentality. I'm sorry if you've experienced many things that you can't even digest properly related to something that you shouldn't know. So many events have happened in childhood, but your kindergarten period is still much better than elementary school which is full of twists and turns of pain and never forgotten. Maybe you still can't forget it until now, right? It is understood that making peace with your own feelings or the past is very difficult, especially accepting everything that has happened. It's okay if Sesya kicik still likes to be sad and remember it, maybe it still takes time to forgive about the past. Sorry, because those unpleasant things are destroying your achievements and feelings, yaa? Sesya kicik probably can't deny that her worries are still much bigger. I'm sorry that all this time you've been keeping it to yourself and carrying burdens that you shouldn't be thinking about alone, or accepting things that make you feel sad. But, Sesya kicik is still a great and strong kid!

dear my child version, how is it? i bet you're having much fun to have a lot of people around you. you live in a life that everyone could ever dreamed of. very much a spoiled kid i would say. but guess what? you need to prepare for the worst. you will face a lot of challenges that you could never talk about it to anyone, including your closest friends or even family. it will be just you, alone, in this crowded world. unfair, isn't it? i know that you can't bear being alone back then but trust me, the older version of you prefers to be alone. do every hobbies that you love and don't you ever give up on it because the 19 years old version of you is regretting a heaps of it. all of the things that you dreamed about, no. i didn't manage to accomplished it for you due to a few conflicts in life and i hope you will not bawl your eyes out after hearing this news. i know it's disappointing and i'm sorry for only bringing you bad news because that is what it is. what you have right now, you will have less in the future. you will no longer romanticize your life anymore and thinking that every of your birthdays are valued, no. sorry. sorry... i feel like i didn't do much for you. you can punch me however you like. but i don't want you to give up just like that. see? i want you to be kind to everyone. i want you to live in the moment because you will never experience it again in the future. i know you wished for a better future, but the future now is dreary. so... keep on holding on for me, will you? for i will gift you a better future, promise. please hold up my promise this time for i won't disappoint you for the second time! now, i fear that you have some after school courses that you need to take. goodbye and goodluck on your courses!