sebenarnya..... dari awal aku harus sudah tau, keputusan yang aku ambil itu akan memunculkan resiko apa dikemudian hari, jadi dari aku pribadi akan lebih prepared well for everything what will happened in the future. ^^

Letting go sih, not to be selfish but I don't think it's necessary to sacrifice ourselves when it's already out of our handle.

kayak nya i'll try to stop deh, bakalan coba berhenti dulu buat nyembuhin luka dan merenung ini tuh sumber luka nya di mana sih? kalau dirasa udah tau sumber nya di mana dan siap buat nyembuhin lagi ya lanjut, kalau enggak ya berhenti

aku usahain komunikasiin sama dia kalo ga bisa dengan cara “nyembuhin lukanya” kaya gitu. kalo emang ga bisa juga dibikin clear, aku udahin. karena ga ngasih feedback yang sama 👍🏻

I honestly udah ngga mau berusaha nyembuhin orang dari sesuatu kalau memang hadirku ngga disambut dengan baik. Karena itu bakal capek banget, dan banyak nimbulin perasaan dan pemikiran negatif ke aku nantinya. Jadi kayaknya akan lebih baik untuk sembuh sendiri-sendiri dulu aja.

be there for someone who might be struggling but someone's struggle is not an excuse to hurt you

Nah.. I don’t think I’m responsible to heal the wounds that weren’t even caused by me.. I’m not a therapist either.. Maybe I can lend my hand to accompany my partner, but if they don’t have any longing to heal.. Then what can I do?

Harusnya dari awal gausa nindakin apa apa, lbh gamau ikut campur sih

Udahan. Kalo diterusin nanti malah jadi penyakit buat keduanya

Putus. I'm not their therapist and it's toxic already, buat apa nyembuhin luka orang lain kalo ternyata malah munculin luka baru buat diri sendiri? Sebuah hubungan itu seharusnya bikin kita bahagia—terlepas dari masalah yang pasti ada aja—bukan malah menambah luka.

Such a good question, thank you Cici. Unfortunately, I have been in this position as much as I have done it to someone in the past as well and I can't really think of a better solution than.. leaving. I am familiar with all the saying "sama kamu sakit tapi gak sama kamu lebih sakit" very well, and it was indeed such a torture way to stay with someone. Trying to help someone can only go so far especially if they refuse to be helped or they keep going through the motion, and it really can be done if they want it too, just as much as you do.

I'll just breakup with him

Mundur lah, udahan. Penyakit kok diterusin.

Leave them for good. Their feelings are valid but it's not our responsibility to heal or either change them. If the pain already consumed us, the only thing we can do is leaving them for good.

I believe that their old wounds are not my responsibility to take nor I'm obligated to ‘heal’ him. A help would be given, that's for sure, but not to the extent where I'd be sacrificing myself, no.