I watched a Russian film a few months ago that was just so strange that it’s stayed with me. I can’t remember what it was called, but I swear it wasn’t a porn film!

It’s about a quiet middle-aged woman who’s never been married or had any kind of boyfriend. She lives frugally with her elderly mother and works in the office at a zoo. Every day, she spends her break times talking to the caged animals. One day, for no apparent reason, and with no explanation, she starts growing a tail - just a tail, no other odd appendages. She goes to see the doctor, who doesn’t seem to be that concerned(!), but he sends her for an X-ray. The X-ray technician is a younger, almost handsome, man (again, who doesn’t seem that concerned by a woman with a tail!) and they strike up a friendship which quickly turns into a relationship. Being in a relationship brings her out of her shell. She starts caring for her appearance, becomes more outgoing, speaks up for herself; but the tail keeps getting longer - almost down to the ground now. Rumours start spreading around the town of a tailed woman with doing all kinds of terrible things, but no one’s actually seen anything. Meanwhile, she stuffs her tail in her knickers every day. (I swear I’m not making this up!) But one night, while she’s dancing in a bar with the boyfriend, it falls out and everyone sees it. They get chased from the bar, and around the town, by an angry mob, eventually ending up at the closed zoo. They sneak in amongst the animals in their dark cages and are overcome with passion and decide to consummate their relationship. They kiss passionately. He turns her over. He pulls her tail out of her knickers. They kiss over her shoulder. He takes her tail and almost comes in his pants sucking on the end of it. She isn’t amused. He apologises and they start again. This time he does come in his pants sucking on the end of it. She pulls her knickers back up and... that’s the end of the film. Don’t have nightmares.