menurutku, keinginan buat produktif itu bener-bener soal motivasi… aku sendiri bawa diri buat produktif karena udah pernah ngerasain gak enaknya luntang-lantung, rasanya malah bikin makin burnout dan nambah emosi yang gak perlu (ngerasa sedih, gak berguna, gak fokusan). jadi saranku, coba cari dulu hal ringan yang produktif yang kira-kira bakal kamu suka, contoh dariku: answering journal prompts, coloring a coloring book, reading a self-development book (10 pages per day), watching youtube videos and make its summary, or cooking and baking! i know some people are not fond of routine, tapi aku sendiri selalu buat schedule, especially on days off supaya gak luntang-lantung—and my activities consist of fun activities like that. dimulai dari yang ringan-ringan dan asik dulu, baru selanjutnya kamu bisa ajak diri buat kebiasa sama kegiatan produktif yang lebih berat, kaya belajar materi kuliah baru, ikut webinar, baca textbook, and so on. yang penting, bangun dulu! don’t believe it when your head tells your body is lazy; just! get! up! for! now! 🫶🏻✨

i’m so sorry for being silent and not emphasizing my stance enough, sender. i regret it so much, and i will no longer stay put and let my palestinians fight the evil on their own. israel… i’m still wondering how they indoctrinate their kids into behaving in such massive immorality, because it’s really scary how i can count the israelis that recognize the immorality of their nation only with my five fingers. it’s been going on for seven decades… MORE than seventy years—not some eight, ten OR EVEN TWENTY FREAKING DAYS without gluten-free flour and it’s getting more wicked and immoral day by day. there is no sense of logic, there is no sense of compassion, there is NO SINGLE SENSE of respect, there is just no humanity… these despicable israelis keep popping out nonsensical alibis to justify their attempt to destroy the land of palestine and its people with their wicked allies laying back with their popcorn, enjoying the show. i’m so sick in the stomach… it’s been so hard for me to eat well and feeling worthy of the comfort of my life recently while thinking that these big people are enjoying the bullying israel has made palestine go through, and there’s nothing significant i can do to punish them for their immorality and save palestine. israel and their allies keep talking inappropriate justification and lies, they even have the shameless courage to mock my beloved palestinians and it’s breaking my heart to total pieces… i feel like the humanity is being greatly mocked now and it’s sick to watch that the powerful ones are here just to have a good laugh and milk the most of money out of the show.

i have no more compassion for the israelis and everyone on their side, wallahi. it’s not the matter of personal preference anymore; being neutral means YOU SIDE WITH THE OPRESSOR AND INVALIDATE THE PAIN OF THE PALESTINIANS. people need to educate themselves that it’s a GENOCIDE going on; it’s a whole freaking army versus innocent civilians that get pointed out as terrorists every time they fight back. this is NOT some political conflict or war. i will keep praying for the safety and blessing of the palestinians and the downfall and sickness for every single one that brings harm for the palestinians. i have nothing to lose, i’m betting on my all for this one.

dede cantik! thank you for the question! 🤍 well… what could it be? i love watching my on-going dramas at the moment; the thoughts of rewatching my favorite dramas also excite me so much! i also love school, lately… i love absorbing as much as i can and i can sense that my social skill is getting better; i can get a better grip of myself and i love how it feels like i’m getting better as a person! the third thing would be… my slow jam playlist; laufey, stevie wonder, maye, yerin baek, joy, triumphs kingdom, apo hiking society… i love the feelings of listening to jazz. it’s just that… i love how hopeful i’ve been feeling towards life, lately, adek—i have a lot of faith that it’s getting better! i’ll be praying for your days to be as sweet as the songs in my playlist, to be as pleasant as the truffle gyudon aburi i had for dinner, and to be as fun as the romcom dramas i watch! i love you, always. <3

i wish i’ll grow into a parent who is near to my children, physically and mentally. i wish i’ll grow into a parent that causes my children to know less about how loneliness feels like, that they think of me the first thing everytime they’re in need of something; whether it’s anything i can afford, materialistically, or simply… a companion. i’ll work on being a parent whose companion is always present that my children wouldn’t wish for it upon somebody else. i want to be there for them before anyone else, i want to be aware of what they’re up to before anyone else, i want to tell them beautiful things before anyone else; i just want to appear to them the very first thing, before anyone else. i’ll keep up with trends, not to join in, but to be enough for me to keep up with my children that it’s comfortable to make myself their friends, and i’ll make sure to learn their needs throughout the time so they feel content, because yet again—i don’t want my children to wish for contentment upon somebody else they barely know. i will keep working on my well-being too, as well as on my career and growth, because they’re gonna feel good to have a mother they can be proud of, a mother they can always look up to; a mother whose trace they can follow accordingly. there’s also something that’s just as important: i will be a parent who is wise and careful on choosing the other parent for my children, because my children deserve the best guidance of a father and a beautiful, harmonious growth. even if it’ll take me years to find the other half of mine to start this dream family with, even if i’ll be 30, 35, 37, or 40… even when people start rushing me to go off and find a man already… i am gonna work my hardest to prepare for the best and safest growth for my children, and i won’t ever start before it’s thoroughly ready. there’s just so much dreams and hopes whenever i think of what kind of parent i aspire to be, and my heart feels full everytime i think of it. i have so much love and adoration for my future children, and i’ll make sure to welcome them after a great preparation—never before that. 🤍