Retrospring is shutting down on 1st March, 2025 Read more
How big a deal is a language barrier for you in a relationship? Like if you were very physically attracted but they barely spoke a word you could understand? Would you make the effort to learn their language? Want them to learn yours?
physical attraction doesn't matter if we don't click on a more fundamental level and I believe being able to verbally communicate is a big part of that. I'm not sure if I'd learn a whole new language just cuz I thought someone was real hot. I feel like that'd just come back to bite me in the ass and then I'd be stuck knowing a language I completely associate with some person who broke my heart
I've dated someone who was originally from Kenya and there was a little bit of a language barrier between her and my dumbass, but it was nothing as big as barely a word. Her first language was her mother tongue. English was her 3rd language and she'd learned some of it as a child and had also been in the US for 4 years when I met her and was pretty fluent in English by then. I wanted her to teach me some words (which I realize now was probably annoying), but she basically told me it was hopeless lmao. We weren't together very long, but I don't think it was the language barrier. She was uH, really, really Christian and had her life together, so we just weren't a good match. I dated someone who was hearing impaired, but that's different because ASL is pretty intuitive and easy to learn. I already knew the basics before I met her, but I did learn a lot more while we were together. Anywho, I don't think I'd ever be attracted to someone who was completely unable to pretend they had an emotional connection with me by communicating with me. So I'm guessing a profound language barrier would be a dealbreaker. I would be willing to learn a new language or try to help someone learn english tho ofc. Maybe we would fALL iN lOVE while that was happening, but that just kinda sounds like a romcom that a white person wrote.
I'm happy to try learning a new language but it probably wouldn't go great. I can learn to understand them but might not be confident enough to speak that much. I wouldn't feel like I could communicate complex ideas. I was dating this one guy for a few months without saying his name because I didn't want to screw it up, and he definitely noticed...
If I'm talking to someone who mainly speaks African French or something like that I can technically talk to them but get lost if it delves outside of what you learn in middle school French immersion or talking to friends growing up in Quebec. So I feel like if one or both people are using a second language all the time it's not going to go that great.
This boy I'm dealing with rn grew up in Mexico and he is fully bilingual but doesn't talk as much in English? He's straight up boring to text. he didn't start using full sentences until I asked him to speak to me in Spanish. He also couldn't explain to me his weird medical conditions in English. He def knows English, when he's on the phone with his family he speaks half and half. but he so boring tho and doesn't explain himself well like he doesn't bother trying.
Hm, if the spell is cast you only need touch and eye contact in my book. Language is overrated in such a situation. But let's pretend it is even more serious than physical attraction, I am in both cases willing to learn more French. But I admit before I could reasonably well communicate in Chinese I would be sexually exhausted. In fact I did learn first the body language of my ex and her Russian afterwards. Or a little bit of her Ukrainian Russian. We often had to exchange in a mix. Her French was always better than mine, my Russian was abysmal despite my effort, her English was awful, but I taught her some German which she adopted quickly. She loved German. But what really crushed me any time was when she talked Russian. It is a very good language to utter sweet talk and "dirty" talk and Russian has a huge ability and range for that. There are a dozen prime ways to say "I love you" in it. Let alone all the subtle different ways of complimenting, Russian is very diverse and rich in that. I am generally bad learning languages. I totally lack talent and I only advance at a slow pace when constantly under pressure. But I balance it out with good kissing. My ex was actually very fond of my tongue, lol.
In the presence of true (romanticized) love there are no true barriers. Past the reality all love can contain momentary struggles but it's up to anyone to find a way to make it work. Honestly, any and all relationship can be complex and sure language is the basis for many. Yet, if it is in a person's heart there is no doubt they'd try to find a way. Plus, love deep down carries and can be sensed; even if not a single word is spoken .
you only need a few words like Quanto tempo antes do seu marido chegar em casa? Or How long before your husband gets home ^_^
I thought I knew English well enough and then she said :Lo! I am hoist with my own petard!
It's only a big deal if we can't communicate at all. Otherwise it's exclusively a physical relationship built on little more than superficial attraction. I'm fine with people who aren't native speakers, we'll either get by on their conversational English or my conversational Spanish or whatever language they speak. I'm not opposed to trying to learn their language to further bridge the gap either.
Also, who's the lucky lady?
Retrospring uses Markdown for formatting
*italic text*
for italic text
**bold text**
for bold text
[link](https://example.com)
for link