LaDamaX · 14 answers · 2mo
How are you feeling today? Don’t give me the “I’m fine” polite response. Give me the real deal.
How are you feeling today? Don’t give me the “I’m fine” polite response. Give me the real deal.
Believe it or not, I'm feeling pretty good, although I did cut my finger really badly earlier! It's all bandaged up, so I'm on the mend. XD
I feel better than i have been feeling due to sleeping at a friends and actually sleeping through the night. the previous night I woke up 12 times. and sleep for me makes a pretty big impact on my day. So having slept good I feel better equipped to go through my day. And I’m sure later today I will have another hour or so long cry sesh since I am processing the sentencing the person who killed my cousin received. but I have coffee right now and am not crying so that’s good.
I feel fine physically, but I'm thinking about a lot. A lot of it is about family. Some of it is nerves and the mental load around my first international trip coming up in a couple weeks. And then there's also the fact that I'm trying to move as soon as I can after I get back from that trip, which will be a challenge with my work schedule. There's still a lot that needs to get done and as much as I'm looking forward to my new space, I'm dreading packing everything up. OMG also I'm about to be lead at work which I only agreed to so I could get the extra pay, but I am NOT excited for my coworker asking me a million dumb questions because she refuses to take accountability for anything. That's a whole ordeal
I'm sore all over. I was hungry, so I ordered food. Only after I ordered did I feel like I want to barf so I haven't eaten it. The planet is a depressing shitshow. I think I believe in God now, and a God who revels and is personally invested in my unhappiness, the world is intelligently designed to maximize my misery, like this couldn't possibly just be random
I hate genocide and stuff so I've been crying every day.
I'm feeling alright. Been doing meditation again, chakra work, spiritual stuff, looking up on biases, reading a book on uncertainty from a psychologist's perspective. Listening to free courses about random subjects like colour therapy, resilience, time management. I plan on studying this year. Just gotta find what I want to do and maybe volunteer in that area first, if possible. I get up at like 7am. Go to bed at about 12am. My sleep schedule in kinda not set though. All in all, life is alright. Plus I don't read or watch the news much. If I do, I try to think of it in a constructive way. A bit curious to find the root causes. Like, I read a little on Daniel Ortega, President of Nicaragua, because it seems he's crushing opposition though he wasn't like that when he started. I read an article then thought, why is he like that? Well, apparently America played a hand in their politics and in the 1980s, well rebels backed by the US apparently, which would explain why he doesn't seem to take kindly to US interference or claims that they are. I won't bother saying more, since I want more sources and want to look up a whole bunch of stuff, to get a clearer and hopefully more accurate picture first.
I've been feeling like shit for months. Everything is fine in my life but my brain is trying to being up memories for the past memories I don't even know are real because I was drunk or drugged at the time to show me how much of a shitty person I am. It's getting so bad that I have thought of ended my life or least self harming again. It's driving me absolutely nuts and I hate it I don't want to be this person these memories are showing me. I want life to be beautiful and peaceful and it is but my brain always wants to think about negative things am absolutely going insane.
I did wake up last night and went through a total recall situation, many key situations of my life were played in time lapse and that left me in a state of shattered depression until the morning. So my day today was a bit overcast as some grey dusty clouds still lingered in the distance.
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